Daily Archives: February 28, 2012

How to Love Project.

Love after Love  -by Derek Walcott

The time will come

When, with elation

You will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

and each will smile at the other’s welcome

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.


I haven’t had a poem resonate this hard with me in a long time. It encapsulates my goals/hopes/dreams with this project (and where I’m currently at in my life) perfectly.

Thank you to Wesley Flash and his How to Love Project. The project is wrapping up now at the end of February, and I have so enjoyed reading through it and gathering information to inform my own love process. I struggled with filling out his survey, but I finally did it after midnight last night. I wanted to be a part of the project, even though my own feelings around love and being in love are complicated and raw right now, still. I’m glad I contributed and doing it helped me heal it all a little more. And I agree with Wesley when he writes:

love makes all of us do/feel/and say stupid shit, but it doesnt matter because, to us, in those sacred moments, love conquers all. we all want to believe this and many of us always do and for most of us, at some point in our lives, love is all we’ve needed to make it through the night. which is what makes the loss of it so tragic, terrifying, and real.

And also for me, love and loving myself is also about learning how to mourn. And how to get back to knowing myself by heart.


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day 59.

These arrived today:

The Gifts of Imperfection and I Thought it Was Just Me (but it isn’t) both by Brene Brown, whose TED talk on vulnerability that I posted here awhile ago changed my life. Thanks to my friend Kernan for the book suggestions! I love a self-help book, and I can’t wait to get into both of these. It may have to wait until spring break unfortunately, but I did read the introduction to one of them and I’m totally excited about it.

Can’t believe February is basically over! Whoa.

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